While I know everyone does not have the ‘luxury’ of recovering from a serious & life-threatening/altering illness, I also recognize that my ability to soak it all in may be limited (in a good way) as I will one day (with a few prayers) be able to return to a busier and more ‘normal’ routine of life where I work daily, can complete more chores and participate more physically in the hub-bub that is known as our family life of chaos. Until that time, however, what I do, because I can, includes…
Read a book on a rainy day on my sofa.
Take photographs of little things that make me smile in awe of God’s hand…like the spring flowers coming up under the brown twigs of winter.
Handcraft and send small tokens of love like cards or notes or mix cd’s to friends to let them know I’m thinking of them and so grateful to have them in my life.
Cook and bake for my family and friends who take care of us during this crazy ride.
Write and journal about the many thoughts and emotions that spill from my brain on any given hour.
Just watch the clock tick by with the contentness of knowing that while I am not overly ambitious these days, I am here.
Snuggle and hunker down with my kids to watch tv, chat or just be together without feeling rushed to do the next big thing.
Examine and re-examine my walk of faith to remind myself of where I was, how I was set up to handle this journey and to be grateful for the little steps that prepared me for the long marathon.
Share my perspective and opinion on savoring and pulling out the little details of life that often go overlooked in the chaos of day-to-day busy-ness that all of us fall into.
Only engage in things that make me laugh, smile or feel good. No dark humor, no scary stories, no real-life or crime sadness enters my ‘daily bubble’. I dealt with enough of it through work prior to the illness and it became a source of great anxiety for me with my sudden diagnosis and severe illness. The heart and human spirit can only take so much.
Listen to the birds chirping outside of my window and feed the birds and the squirrels who are now residing in my backyard, their restaurant in the wild. J Sometimes, I even just camp out on the kitchen floor to watch them feast.
Think about actually ‘doing’ something a long, long time before I actually move to accomplish a task. And some days, I just don’t do anything…because I can, but also because I can’t find the energy or drive. And that’s okay.
Sometimes I just listen to the wind and the rain and instead of being sad, I marvel at how nature and the goodness of God provides for all things to grow and change.
Listen to music…all genres…and sing along or pay attention to the words closely and allow them to resonate with some memory or current life event.
Because I can…I am more acutely aware of every single detail of my life…my family, my friends, my loves, my likes and dislikes, tangible and intangible items…and every little shift and instance that gives me a change in perspective with hope for a future, and the patience and comfort in knowing that regardless of how this earthly walk ends, it was worth every second…good and bad…and was designed and executed exactly as it had planned to be. And I will continue to make the best attempt I can at understanding that things [and life] happen at His will, not mine, or yours or anyone else’s and I will continue to do my best at accepting that.