“Do you trust me?” [He said.]
“What did you say?” [she replied.]
“Do you trust me?” [He asked again.]
The above lines from the Disney classic, Aladdin were on constant repeat in my head regularly many times on the BMT journey…from immediately after the first round of induction chemotherapy, well throughout the transplant recovery. I would see Jasmine in my mind timid and unsure reaching out slowly to grasp Aladdin’s hand and then the set out on a journey like no other on the magic carpet to see “a whole new world”.
This is the best vision my mind has of how I learned to trust God more faithfully on this daily, sometimes hourly, journey I embarked on (unwillingly, really) in December 2012.
I relied heavily on the words I read each and every day in my Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young. Coincidence that on the day I was leaving the hospital – January 9, 2013, that devotional was about God being with and for me and that I should see His guidance in the journey at every moment. I had gone back and read the devotional from January 4 (my daughter’s birthday) because I was too sick on that day to read it. I was having serious anxiety about going home, wondering how I would survive the hour drive home, how Scott would care for my medical needs and how my children would react to such a sick Mama. The words from January 4’s devotion sprang from the pages directly into my anxiety-filled head and heart, “I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, “I trust You, Jesus” in response to whatever happens to you.” I said it over and over again until Scott checked me out. I repeated in my head over and over as waves of nausea pounded my body on the drive home. I repeated it softly as I entered my home and had Scott help me make it to the bedroom. I uttered it when I touched my pillows and my children entered the bedroom. Amazingly, the more I practice saying these words, the more I began to truly understand that His presence had never left me or my family. Yes, we have rocky patches…who doesn’t? But, through trust in God and affirmation of that trust from our hearts and mouths, we get through to the next step and our faith, in addition to my physical being, got stronger and stronger.
And, Godly enough, (I say Godly not oddly because I believe this is a God thing) → one of the themes I chose a year previous for our Vacation Bible School program at church was simply “Trust God” in all circumstances. In fact, I even created a magnet for the children, teens and adult helpers to take with them to remind them that Trusting God was the most important thing in life. Thankfully, one of my sweet church girlfriends pressed the magnet into Scott’s hand so he could bring it to the hospital to help me keep mindful of my pilot in the journey.
Definitely a God thing – He was using me to share His message then and was certainly using me as an instrument in this health instance to show how one should always Trust Him even in adversity. God always pulls us through … with faith, trust and some pixie dust, even the darkest days are made bearable. I always through some chocolate in for good measure, but you can substitute whatever guilty earthly pleasure you desire. As long as faith and trust are there, all is more than good.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power,
and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
*Linking up with Finding the Grace Within as part of her Tuesday at Ten series. In KarenBeth's own words, here is a brief desription of the exercise:
"Here is how it works:
Every Tuesday at 10am I post a prompt word/Photo, and you will have 1 week to write and link up on your blog, and then link up on the “Tuesday at Ten” site by using the “link up on my blog”.
Make sure you post the “Tuesday at Ten” logo (on the left) at the end of your writing so that others can link up and also join.
Creativity is the key! You can use photos, you can use anything that is unique in your own way to display the prompt word.
The prompt word stays up for 1 WEEK until the new Tuesday at Ten is posted!
The linkup closes Monday night in preparation for the new prompt word. I will choose two writers who had the best creative way of writing or showing of the “prompt word”on their blog, and they will be showcased on Tuesday at Ten blog, and Facebook page for that week." (KarenBeth on her blog.)
To read KarenBeth's words or the exercises completed by other writers on Tuesdays, check out her site, Finding the Grace Within and check out the links to other blogs. It's an encouraging and inspiring community!